


The Fluke

by CantSpeakFae



Series: The Scars Souvenir [20]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Episode Revisit + Revision, F/M, Written from Xander's P.O.V
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-04-02
Packaged: 2020-01-01 01:37:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18326057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CantSpeakFae/pseuds/CantSpeakFae
Summary: They’re in some hellish purgatory where they live this dull, sad night forever because of the terrible things they did.





	The Fluke

“What do you think of this?” Willow asks, stepping out from behind her changing screen.   
  
Xander glances over at her as he tucks his white, long-sleeve dress shirt into his tuxedo pants. She’s wearing something red over something white and silken and he shrugs.   
  
“Nice.” He says, with what he hopes is an encouraging smile.   
  
He realizes, perhaps a little too late, that this isn’t exactly his territory. She needs someone with fashion sense to critique her appearance - she needs someone like Buffy or Cordelia and he’s not even sure why he agreed to do this… only, actually, he is sure. Too many changes happening a very short amount of time. Buffy came home…but a new Slayer arrived in Sunnydale, too. And Buffy’s been distant, lately. Distant-er. Maybe because of Faith, but maybe because of other things too. They’re getting better - getting over the fight they had, but they’re not quite besties, again, yet.   
  
And that doesn’t just mean missing out on quality bonding with Buff. That means missing out on Willow, too. So, maybe he jumped a little too eagerly at the chance to be near her.  
  
He goes back to tucking in his shirt.   
  
“It's my first big dance, you know?” She says, unbuttoning her blouse and smiling. “Where there's a boy and a band... and not just me alone in my room pretending that there's a boy and a band.”  
  
She picks up another outfit. “I just want it to be…”   
  
She ducks back behind her changing screen and Xander steps over to her dressing mirror to tie his bow tie, nodding even though she can’t see him.   
  
“Special.” He says, fully agreeing with her. This is his first, big dance with Cordelia and he wants it to be much, much, much simpler than Valentine's day. “That's why I spared no expense on the tux.”  
  
“The tux? I thought you, uh, borrowed it from your cousin Rigby.”  
  
Xander scowls as he struggles with his bowtie. “Expense to my pride, Will. They're our only relations with money, and they shun us... as they should.”  
  
Y’know, since Tony is a lazy drunk, Jessica has been doing drugs between shifts at the drive-through, and Xander is the biggest idiot in the world. They’re living proof that sometimes evolution can go backward.  
  
Willow steps out from behind the screen again, this time wearing a black top with several randomly placed small sunflowers on it and a smiling sun, with a black skirt that has some kinda flowers on it.  
  
“What do you think about this?” She asks.   
  
Xander looks. He nods. “Nice.”  
  
And he turns his attention back to his tie. Willow spies him struggling with it and hurries over, raising her hands along the way to reach for it. He gives up, lets go, and lets her tie it. She looks up at him and gives him a little smile.  
  
“What?” He asks, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.  
  
“I was just… remember the eighth-grade cotillion?” She asks, giggling. “You had that clip-on?”  
  
He does, actually. He’d been so nervous and he hadn’t been able to get any fancy digs, so he bought a clip on to spiff himself up, a little. Cordelia and her gang of sneering friends had made a few comments… but it’d been a pretty good night, anyway. He danced with Willow… he danced with Jesse, who’d had his hair combed and slicked down with gel so that it was stiff against his scalp and Xander had been trying to muss it up the whole night.   
  
“Hey, I was pretty stylin’ with a clip-on.”  
  
“And now here we are, and it's... Homecoming.” Willow says, concentrating on the tie.  
  
“Yeah, we should face it, Will. You and I are gonna be in neighboring rest homes while I come over so you can adjust my, um…”  
  
Willow raises her eyebrows at him. He frowns.  
  
“My, uh… Well, I can’t think of anything that’s not really gross.”  
  
Willow laughs as she finishes the tie, patting it, and then ducks back behind her screen to try on yet another outfit while Xander pulls on his vest. He’s quiet, for a minute… then clears his throat, trying to think of a way to word the question that came to mind. He and Willow don’t usually talk about things like this… but it’s a big dance. A formal dance and there are certain expectations made of people going to things like this.  
  
“So, uh... you and Oz,” Xander says, coughing. “How do I put this? Are we on first, second, or, uh... ye gods?”   
  
“That’s none of your business, Alexander Harris!” Willow called back.  
  
Xander laughs. “Oooh, rounding second.”   
  
He reaches for his jacket and Willow huffs.   
  
“You don’t know that. What about you and Cordelia?”   
  
Also rounding second. Inching toward third, he thinks, but every time it seems like they might try for it, he chickens out. He likes Cordelia. He likes her a lot, he might even be in love with her. But…  
  
He pulls on his jacket. “Oh, a gentleman never talks about his conquests.”  
  
“Oh, yeah?” Willow asks as she steps out from behind the screen “Well, since when did you become a…”  
  
She trails off and he turns to look at her and his jaw drops, struck by the side of her. No mixing and matching blouses with skirts, this time, she’s in a black, sleeveless, full-length dress. He’s never seen her like that, before. She looks… so grown up. Elegant. And nothing at all like his fuzzy sweater Willow.  
  
Willow finally breaks the silence to finish her sentence. “...gentleman?”  
  
She looks down at her dress, then back up at him and shrugs.  
  
“Uh, I know. 'Nice.'”  
  
Xander steps toward her. “I was gonna go with gorgeous.”  
  
Willow beams and steps toward him, too. “You, too. I-in a guy way.”  
  
“Oz is very lucky,” Xander says, inhaling to steady himself. He feels like he’s seeing her for the very first time.  
  
“So is Cordelia... i-in a girl way.” Her smile melts away into worry. “Oh, I don’t know if I can dance in this! I don’t know if I can dance!”  
  
“Come on. Piece of cake.” He steps up to her and offers his hands to dance. “Here.”  
  
Willow meets him halfway, taking his hand in one of her own and then placing her other on his shoulder, looking up at him with those wide, doe-eyes that he’d always loved. They’re bright, reflecting the lights of her room and twinkling with joy. They start to dance.  
  
“Well, that seems to, um…” He starts to say, looking down at their feet as they sway back and forth, a little. She can move, at least a little, so that should be fine. It’s just a school dance - no one whips out the fancy twirls or lifts up their date for a pose. Usually.  
“Yeah. This shouldn't be a... problem.”   
  
“No.” Xander agrees as they slowly inch closer to each other. “No problem.”  
  
He starts to tilt his head down to her and she responds in kind, delicately angling her face up to him. And suddenly, they’re kissing. Mouths pressed gently together and Xander can’t think of anything but how soft she is… and then, suddenly, he realizes what he’s doing and jumps back away from her.   
  
He points at her, eyes wide and horrified. “That didn’t just happen!”  
  
“No!” Willow says, flailing her arms in that way that she does when she’s panicked. “I mean, it did, but it didn't!”  
  
“Because I respect you! And Oz. And I would never…”  
  
Willow nods, furrowing her brows. “I would never, either! I-it must be the clothes! I-it’s a fluke!”  
  
“It's a clothes fluke, that's what it is. And there'll be no more fluking.” Xander says, firmly.  
  
“Not ever!”  
  
And then, they step closer again. Xander starts to reach for her and she responds in kind, almost kissing, and then jumping back again when they realize it. Oh, god, what is he doing? What are they doing? He just admitted that he might be in love with Cordelia, in his head at least, and now he’s smooching his best friend? Who he never, ever liked like this?  
  
“We gotta get out of these clothes!”   
  
“Right now!”  
  
Wait, no! Not like that! He didn’t mean. They both get flustered and gesture wildly at each other.  
  
“Oh, I didn't mean…”  
  
“I didn't... me, either!”  
  
She rushes back behind her screen. Xander hastens the other way. This is bad. This is really, really bad.  
  


* * *

  
It never rains so much as it pours one bad thing on top of other bad things until they’re drowning in… badness. Cordelia and Buffy are at each other’s throats over the title of Homecoming Queen and it’s causing a serious riff. Xander has to side with Cordy. They’re dating and he’s feelin’ guilty about kissing Willow. Willow sides with Cordy, cause she’s feeling the guilt herself. And Oz goes where Will does.   
  
And, meanwhile, Xander can’t stop thinking about…  
  
“This is just the worst that’s ever happened! Ever!”  
  
They’re in her room, again, pacing behind him before tossing herself down onto her bed, crossing her arms and her legs and looking down sadly at the floor. Xander settles in next to her and puts his arm around her. He knows how she feels… he’s been feeling it, himself.   
  
“I know. I know. It's just... when I look at you now, it's like I'm seeing you for the first time.”   
  
Willow glances at him. “I'm talking about Buffy and Cordelia.”  
  
Xander yanks back his arm. Oops. “Uh, Me, too.”  
  
“What are we gonna do? I mean, we have to do something. This is all our fault.”  
  
Wait, what? Xander frowns. “How do you get from ‘chick fight’ to ‘our fault’?”   
  
Willow turns red, flustered and flailing her hands. “Because: we felt so guilty about the fluke, we   
overcompensated helping Cordelia, and we spun the whole group dynamic out of orbit, and we're just a big meteor shower heading for Earth…”  
  
“Okay, calm down. Let's just put our heads together and think of something.” Xander says, lifting his hand up to stop her before she can talk herself into a deeper spiral, and he takes a deep breath. “Okay, one of us here is pretty darn smart, and I am…”   
  
He trails off. Willow looks at him, expectantly… only, now it’s his turn to start spiraling.  
  
“... just in Hell. I-I mean, I-I thought being a senior, _at_ _last_ , and, and having a girlfriend, _at_ _last_ , would, would be a _good_ thing. Now, why wouldn’t that be a good thing?”   
  
He sniffs and takes a deep breath. Why did he do this to himself? He loves Cordelia. Why is he so determined on running away and why is he running to _Willow_ , and dragging her with him? He looks at her… only to find that she’s not really listening, her gaze fixed on his mouth.   
  
“...What?”   
  
“Sometimes, when you’re falling to pieces your mouth…” She says, reaching up with her hand. “It just does the sweetest thing.”  
  
Xandre reaches up with his hand and takes hers in it, lowering them both to his knee and he places his other hand over hers as well. He can always count on her… no matter how crappy he feels, Willow is there and makes him smile again. Maybe this is how it was always supposed to be. If he can’t love Willow… then he really can’t love anybody.  
  
“What are we gonna do?” Willow asked, reminding him that they’d been having a conversation.  
  
“We just have to get the two of them communicating.” He says, sure that they’d figure out their issues if they just talked it through.  
  
Willow shakes her head.  
  
“I’m talking about us.”  
  
Gee, they’re never on the same page are they?  
  


* * *

  
It had seemed like a good idea when Xander first thought of it… but, now, as he’s standing in the Bronze with his date nowhere to be seen, he’s starting to regret it. Tonight isn’t going at all like he thought it would. When he’d realized Homecoming was coming around… he’d been thinking closeness with Cordy. Slow dances, long eye gazing into, the works. But he’s alone, standing three feet away from Willow, who looks just as glum as he feels as she stares up at the stage and watches Oz. Guess she hadn’t really thought of the technicalities of having a boyfriend who’s playing in the band that’s playing for the dance. Hard to get any dances in without him.   
  
Xander idly nibbles on a finger sandwich and stares down at the floor. If Cordy were here, things would feel different. Or, maybe it’d be worse because he can’t stop thinking about Willow and he’d feel guilty about touching Cordy while…   
  
“What are you two so mopey about?”   
  
Xander nearly jumps out of his skin when Faith comes up behind them, glancing behind him and sighing. “Oh, we’re not mopey. We’re groovin’.”   
  
He points to the stage.   
  
“Oz’s band. He’s a great guy, Oz.”  
  
Unlike him. Xander is a bad, bad, bad person.  
  
“He wrote this song for me,” Willow called, softly.  
  
Faith glances around and sees Scott behind her dancing with a girl, and stalks off to confront him, leaving Xander and Willow alone, again, standing awkwardly and trying not to look at each other when Giles rushed up behind them.   
  
“We have to find Buffy. Something terrible’s happened!”   
  
Can’t be worse than the dance. Xander glances back, unimpressed. Being torn apart by wild dogs or eaten by a demon could actually be more fun than this.   
  
But, Giles just laughs. “Just kidding. Thought I’d give you a scare. Are those finger sandwiches?”  
  
And then he darts off. Xander looks back at the band.   
  
There can be no one alive who’s having a worse night than he is.  
  


* * *

  
Standing wasn’t fun enough, so they mixed it up a little and snagged a table, sitting at opposite ends and angling away from each other. Xander leans his face into his fist, torturing himself with thoughts of what this night was supposed to _be_ , as opposed to what it was actually is.   
  
Giles finds them, again, munching on some snacks he liberated from the table. “I suspect the uh, finger food contains… actual fingers.”   
  
Was that a dad joke or is he serious? Xander shoots him a look. Willow doesn’t even look up. Giles seems to realize that the energy here is dead because he coughs and wipes his hands clean on a napkin.   
  
“I-I-I think I’ll retreat to the library until the coronation.”   
  
Neither of them move or answer.   
  
“I want to be here when, when, when Buffy... Well, uh, however, the thing turns out for her.”  
  
Xander doesn’t even twitch. Doesn’t Giles realize? This night is never gonna end. They’re in some hellish purgatory where they live this dull, sad night forever because of the terrible things they did.   
  
“A-and that was a very fine thing you two did, putting Buffy and Cordelia together,” Giles adds, trying to prod them out of their saddened haze.   
  
He holds out the rest of his uneaten sandwich, wrapped up in a napkin, and Xander takes it without looking. Giles ducks out, then, and leaves them to their bitterness. Again.   
  
“We did a fine thing.” Willow echoes, speaking finally, without looking up from the floor.   
  
“Yeah. They've been gone for a while. They must really be getting' into it.” Xander agrees.   
  
They both stare at the band, again and Xander silently swears off formal clothes for the rest of eternity.


End file.
